June 2009
2 posts
NYC Prep
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
That’s what watching NYC Prep feels like. I’d rather get a root canal or let someone break my arm or clean a toilet or get my face pierced or get stung by a dozen bees.
Since I am never ever ever going to watch it again, I am not going to learn any of...
NCIS
Navy Criminal Investigative Service? I think not. Instead they should call it Your Grandfather Was Right About Everything (Except Maybe Racism, Unless It’s Directed Toward Arabs).
If you like this show, you are probably either very old or suffering some kind of serious mental handicap. Either way, you should see a doctor as soon as possible.
The creators of the show never bothered to...
May 2009
5 posts
Family Guy.
Used to be funny.
Now it’s not.
Fuck you.
Sean Connery.
Yeah, yeah. Sean Connery is technically not a show. Well, technically he’s not an actor, either, and that hasn’t stopped him so far.
He’s supposed to be the best James Bond ever, but what kind of accomplishment is that? James Bond is a sociopathic misogynist. The best Sean Connery can do with the character is to smirk after killing someone, smirk after getting a woman killed...
Royal Pains? Really?
Does USA have a special grant from the government to make awful shows? Did they get part of the TARP bailout money exclusively for the purpose of degrading the public will through shitty television?
Is Dick Cheney still the Vice President?
Am I hallucinating? Am I dead? Am I in hell? Did I literally die and go to hell, and this is my punishment?
Royal Pains. I don’t even have to watch...
Law and Order SVU: For Idiots
Law and Order shoulda called it quits a long time ago. But no. They started rolling out, like, one new spinoff a month. Pretty soon there’s gonna be more episodes of Law and Order than there are words in the dictionary. They’ll have to start paying people to stay up all night watching them.
The worst of the lot is SVU, which I think stands for Sexual Crime Violence Rape Rape. And...
Burn Notice Needs a Burn Notice
I finally figured out why I hate Burn Notice so much.
Because it’s a fucking terrible show.
You want more?
Ok. The lead, Jeffrey Donovan, delivers all his lines as if he believes he’s being extremely clever. The problem is that he isn’t clever. He’s dumb.
And Bruce Campbell is totally wasted in this show. I wish I meant that he was super drunk all the time. Nope....